Standing up for yourself

Have you ever had to face a bully head on?

The tactics of the bully can be so subtle, manipulative and confusing. Before you know it, your self esteem has plummeted and it begins affecting your connection with yourself. Other times they are neither subtle nor confusing. You know exactly what is happening as it happens and it's horrible.

Bullies are often master controllers who look for weakness and prey on an individual's sore spots and buttons. They slowly or quickly begin to dismantle the person, feeding on the Victim's victim energy.

Throwing barbs or abuse back, blaming them, hating them, vilifying them, arguing with them, telling them how they hurt you, and asking them to stop are all ways in which you are engaging with them in THEIR GAME and on THEIR TERMS. All of the above actions are really just reinforcing you as victim.

Whatever game they have going, it’s not your job to fix it or help them. It’s your job to stop playing victim. If you’re not engaging, you don’t pick up the rope, you don’t get involved with the energy exchange. You don’t get hit, you don’t catch it and you don’t throw it back. Period.

This means staying calm, ignoring their attack or removing yourself from the situation. If you don’t pick up the rope, it can’t go on very long. Depending on the bully, they may stop, get confused, escalate the attack or take a different tack.

They still want that energy they used to get from you, from your interaction. They are addicted to those chemicals that their brain released when they affected you or when they wield control over your emotions. Again, it’s not yours to figure out. Your job is to love yourself enough to know the truth about you and to live in it, no matter what the world says or tries to get you to believe.

Deciding your highest truth about yourself and how you’d like to show up in the world is your job. Futzing around with someone playing mind game, is only your job if you make it your job, if you say yes. You always have a choice. Always.

There is no justification juicy enough that relieves you of your responsibility for yourself. You can run from it for years and blame everyone else but in the end you will find, you are the captain of your own ship. You are the master of your life and always have been, even when you give your power away.

2315 hours
Friday 16 March 2013

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