Election Commission of Clowns defines ‘Saadiq’ and ‘Ameen’

Responding to the wider debates and confusion around article 62 and 63 of the Constitution of Pakistan, the Election Commission of Clowns has finally decided to put an end to the controversy by giving out their definitions of ‘Saadiq’ and ‘Ameen.’

According to their definition, a Saadiq is a self righteous blockhead, who understands well that religion is a manipulative tool and NOT someone’s personal matter. One of the visible signs of a Saadiq includes his ability to recite ‘Duwaa e Qunoot’ fluently, without necessarily the need to understand its meaning. 

A Saadiq is also well aware of the ideology of Pakistan. Now, most of the people were not sure what exactly this particular ideology is, since everyone had their own version? Therefore, the Election Commission of Clowns has also defined the Ideology of Pakistan:  ‘ It was an egalitarian dream (or fantasy) that resulted in around 500,000 brutal killings in a single year in India and Pakistan. It also provided an immediate opportunity for looting and invasion of properties of thousands of Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistan and rape of around 10,000 of their women. The ideology is also our rationale to compete against an impossible rival with a massive army and defense spending, leaving common population to live well below poverty line.  The complacency of the ideology is evident by Baloch nationalists movements claiming returns for ‘their’ resources of natural gas, Sindhi politicians opposing Kalabagh Dam keeping back ‘their’ share of Indus waters and also, by breaking away of Bangladesh from Pakistan back in 1971.’

A Saadiq is also a person who firmly believes in the distorted history and manipulated facts taught in the text books in Pakistan.

According to the Election Commission of Clowns a perfect role model of Saadiq is Tehreek-i-Taliban Pakistan's spokesperson Ehsanullah Ehsan.

Ameen: The Election Commission of Clowns defines Ameen as a hypocrite with Swiss accounts, luxurious life styles, and extensive properties but petty tax returns. Ameen is also the person who asks a set of questions to please the large number of people who believe in the egalitarian fantasy of an Islamic state but cannot agree on which version of Islam this state would follow. Islam has a different version every few miles in this country, adhering to Pashtunwali, Jirga justice, shrines worship or numerous other traditions. Most of these versions are at war with each other, often thirsty for each others blood.  An Ameen knows very well how to appeal to these emotions of people and on the other hand, divert their attention from letting in of corrupt, tax evading and inept candidates back into elections.

The role model of an Ameen could be Mullah Omar!

Bushra Naz
09:45 hours
Saturday 13 April 2013