Finding your real self, don’t play the blame game.


Whoever did whatever to you more than likely had a problem with their authenticity?

Mostly, this problem comes from our childhood. Imagine yourself as a child. Were you expected to always be in control of your emotions, and now you can’t feel your life the way you know you’d like to? Were you a science student expected to get to some engineering or medical college but you were really a creative at heart? Expected to be tough, but you’re really tender hearted?

If you feel the real you lives behind a fa├žade, or worse, you aren’t even sure who the real you is any more.
Compassion has its place here. Knowing who did what may help you process, but hitching your life onto blame will never help you progress.

Write a letter to the person and burn it so you get some of your anger out. If you try to let them off the hook too soon, you may take on the blame.

Understand, as Barbara Sher stated, “We all try to prove our parents right.” This means if you thought you could make an unhappy parent or caregiver happy by being other than you were born as, you’ve had a frustrating time.

The key is to ask yourself, is it still who you thought you had to be for them, or who you really are? Are you still trying to fit the person’s mold for you?

Who do you have to be from this day forward to align with what you desire and deserve in your own life? What would you have to adjust? Do you need more structure, less structure? Do you need to work harder, work less? Do you need to laugh more, to allow yourself to feel more, to have more joy, to have playtimes; to aim at fulfilment instead of just achievement?

Bushra
2145 hours
Friday 2 November 2012