Responding to the wider debates and confusion around article
62 and 63 of the Constitution of Pakistan, the Election Commission of Clowns
has finally decided to put an end to the controversy by giving out their
definitions of ‘Saadiq’ and ‘Ameen.’
According to their definition, a Saadiq is a self righteous blockhead, who understands well that
religion is a manipulative tool and NOT someone’s personal matter. One of the
visible signs of a Saadiq includes
his ability to recite ‘Duwaa e Qunoot’ fluently, without necessarily the need
to understand its meaning.
A Saadiq is also
well aware of the ideology of Pakistan. Now, most of the people were not sure
what exactly this particular ideology is, since everyone had their own version?
Therefore, the Election Commission of Clowns has also defined the Ideology of Pakistan: ‘ It was an egalitarian dream (or fantasy) that
resulted in around 500,000 brutal killings in a single year in India and
Pakistan. It also provided an immediate opportunity for looting and invasion of
properties of thousands of Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistan and rape of around
10,000 of their women. The ideology is also our rationale to compete against an impossible rival with a massive army and defense spending, leaving common population
to live well below poverty line. The complacency
of the ideology is evident by Baloch nationalists movements claiming returns
for ‘their’ resources of natural gas, Sindhi politicians opposing Kalabagh Dam
keeping back ‘their’ share of Indus waters and also, by breaking away of
Bangladesh from Pakistan back in 1971.’
A Saadiq is also a person who firmly believes in the
distorted history and manipulated facts taught in the text books in Pakistan.
According to the Election Commission of Clowns a perfect
role model of Saadiq is Tehreek-i-Taliban Pakistan's spokesperson Ehsanullah Ehsan.
The role model of an Ameen could be Mullah Omar!